Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
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Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
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I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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