That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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