clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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