when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize