it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize