and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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