ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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