you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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