well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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