i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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