I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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