as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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