it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
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Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
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And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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