I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Randomize