Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize