I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
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So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
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I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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