i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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