I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
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So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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