I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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