If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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