I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize