So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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