dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize