You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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