she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
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So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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