tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
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