Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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