Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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