i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
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Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
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Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
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