my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize