i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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