32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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