sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
then he tried to convert me to islam
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I have post one night stand depression
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize