Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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