also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
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I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
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Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Pooping to opera.
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