I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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