Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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