we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
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Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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