you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize