even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
