hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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