She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
soo... how was my night?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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