I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
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Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
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I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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