So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
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