So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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