Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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