that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize