I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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