she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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