It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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